The JenJen Show...

Welcome to the JenJen Awards Show

Date: Today, lovelies

Time: Whenever you get around to reading my literary genius and five minutes after that

Attire: Slutty Chic

(slutty for the ladies and smokin'hot for the men)

I've been the recipient of hundreds a couple of awards since I started this blog earlier this year. I am still trying to find my voice, but you keep coming, reading and commenting.
And for you I am thankful.
I want to give a shoutie (not shawty or whatever the f*ck that ghetto word is for girl) to some of you for always being here and telling me what you think. I used to ration that comments weren't everything and neither was the collection of 'heads' over on the side. I need to remember that sometimes and just try to write what I think.  And when you comment on something, it makes me  happy (cue tears).

First Award Category: Best Use of Keyboards on a Blog:

JennyMac: Leading role at Let's Have a Cocktail. Jenny is a great comment-giver. Her comments aren't fluff; when she leaves a note, she tends to tell you her favorite part. This is awesome. She's a frog and I really wish I knew her in "real" life so we could have that cocktail.

Moog: Leading role at Mental Poo. Moog is consistent in his comments. He always looks for and finds the snark in whatever you post and uses the comments box to make you snort with laughter. He's funny as hell but isn't for those with a weak constitution or who offend easily--which is not me. (cue laugh track)

Matthew: Leading role at Abode One Three takes time from being brilliant to read and comment on my drivel. I can't believe it, really. Matthew's blog is deep, complex and flavorful. When he comments, I get a peak inside the phenomenal man that he is. I'm lucky to have him in my corner.

Next Award Category: Sweet Freakin' Asses....

This next one is made by Rita with her "wicked skilz" and I'd like to pass it along to:

Swirl: Starring in Swirl Girl's Pearls. Swirl  is one of the first blogs I followed when I started Jen's Voices back in May. She's well balanced, quick witted and will knock you over with her realism and wit. And she might teach you a thing or two while she's at it.

Nancy:  The writer of f8hasit was Blog of Note a while back and even started her very own "Follower of Note" program, where she picks one of her followers and highlights them on her page for a day or so. I was her first...*blushing*

Jerrod: Jface at The Yellow Factor is a crack up. He's writes like a friend. And  he's sweet. And rumor has it, single. GO, Ladies. GO!

Next  Award Category: Blogs That Make Us Hot and Blush or Blogs That Make Me Think I'm Peaking Through a Lock on a Door...

Secretia: Starring in Secret Story Time. This blog is awesome. It is truly like peaking into the lives of people you don't know. It's fun and you can be anonymous if you want to when you comment. I have. *insert red face*

Mr. Condescending: Advice and Humor from Mr. Condescending  is one sexy blog. He puts hot photos by the likes of Jack Vettriano up to get you in the mood. He holds nothing back, my frogs, n o t h i n g. *fans face...*Encore...

....and that concludes our ceremonies for the evening my frogs. Please don't forget your things and can someone get the lights?

And two more thank-yous:
I was gifted an Awesome Blogger  award by Ebony at Sizzling Publications. I'm sure there are rules but I don't pay attention to rules so much (unless I make them, of course, then I'm all ABOUT THE RULES, B*TCHES!). Thank you Ebony!

And to Country Gone City who gifted me a Superior Scribbler Award. I love this! Thanks hon. Her description of why she gifted this to me is interesting:
because she basically cracks me up on a daily basis. For example, the independent tribute (or satire) to "muffin top". This blog-- not for the faint of heart, or the easily offended. Jen Jen brings a voice to the topics, the rest of us... dream of writing about, but are scared that our 3rd grade teacher may be following. Arghh! Ah, the bravery! Here's to Jen Jen... a superior scribbler.

K. If Mrs Armstead (my third grade teacher) is reading I am so sorry I woke you from your dirt nap. 'pologies.

Let's Go To Bed...friend?

I do not want to get in your pants.
Really, I don't.
For Real.

I had quite the lively conversation today with a frog (blog friend. It's a blend. Click here). Who happens to have a penis instead of a vajayjay. I think this is a key point, my frogs, so file that for future use.
Anyway.
He shall remain nameless lest he should decide to out his sorry ass himself.

A lil back story:

Years ago I was young (HA) and thin (ha-HA) and recently freed from the vice grip of an abusive boyfriend.  I flourished. I also found that being young, thin, blonde and blue eyes could be very powerful. Powerful in the sense of I could go to the bar with 20 bucks in my pocket, drink my self silly and still have 20 bucks in my pocket when I got back to my apartment that night. Sometimes I even went home alone. *cringe*
But that was way back then.
I confess, I used my sexuality to get things: men, drinks, out of tickets(heh...this was too fun), etc. I wanted to show the world (I was like 22 so the w-o-r-l-d wasn't all that big to me) that I was more than a punching bag. I don't know why I felt like showing that side of me, and I'm sure there's some shrink out there who'd love to get his hands on me and sort through my marbles.

However powerful I thought I was, I did not want to sleep with every sap who bought me a drink, or looked at me or winked at me or had too-tight pants in the front. I did not perceive every man as a person who I'd do the naked dance with.
Apparently, men are different.
Like WAY different, according to my frog.

He insists that no matter what, men want to screw pretty much any woman they see. And he said that I'm nuts if I think men can be friends with women without the man thinking about nailing her silly.
Am I?
I have a few friends that are male. Although they are all attractive, I don't think about them being naked and in my bed. Ever. And I don't think they envision me that way either.
Do they?
Ew.
If men truly do this, how on earth do you keep a straight, no blushing face when faced with one of these women? I know for me, if I were to happen to run across a previous, er dancing partner, I'd be eight shades of red. And, if Edward Cullen (not the dandruff-laden R.Pattinson) were to appear at the foot of my bed, there would be some blushing there too, for a minute. You know, right before we get it on.
I need a sec.
exhale....
Where was I?
Yes. So, can we be friends?  Are women more capable of everything this than men? Now, let me clarify something here. I sometimes see a man that I kinda, well, ladies you know what I'm trying not to type. We're human. Perhaps I'm the anomoly and my frog is right? I just know that I don't think of my friends-man or woman-as potential sex tigers and kittens.

wha? there's a kitten. RIGHT...there.

Rrrrroar!